Ask The Coach — A Good Heart

Published on May 29, 2014

Dear Coach:

I’m so alone in my practice. How do I find an advisor to give me objective and conflict-free advice? The few times I’ve opened myself up to a consultant or a colleague, I became a victim of unwanted sales pitches. How do I find people with whom I can develop trusted relationships who can advise me and who truly have my best interests at heart? K.K.
Ahhhhh, another question about the heart, which is our favorite topic since we believe that a good heart is better than all the heads in the world.

The real question is, do you know what’s in your heart or are you hoping that a “trusted advisor” will magically appear to help you fill it up with vision and value?

We have found over the years that those who are uncertain about their purpose in life are most likely to find themselves in situations where they become “victims” of opportunity. Why did you become a dentist? Are you passionate about your practice and your patients? All the advisors in the world will never compensate for feeling alone if you have an empty heart. Passion is the antidote to aloneness; it is the first step to achievement, it will increase your willpower, it will energize your life and the lives of those around you, and it makes impossibilities possible.

Perhaps it’s the type of advice you’ve sought that has generated disillusionment. We teach our clients to become people of value rather than seek success because our values align our careers with our convictions. You make choices every day on how to lead your staff and serve your patients. Are these choices a result of your values? You must:
• Articulate your values clearly.
• Review them daily.
• Practice them purposely.
• Make decisions with them strategically.
• Teach them to your staff and patients intentionally.
• Recognize them in advisors publicly.
• Celebrate them continually.

Borrowed values have no power, and until you’ve defined and developed yours, you’ll always be vulnerable to opportunists. If you don’t discipline yourself, the world will do it for you.

We encourage you to spend time with great people, to read books about great leaders, to visit great places that will inspire you and to listen to CDs about great ideas each day. And, most of all, we encourage you to become a servant to those around you, which will decrease the distance and increase the trust between you.

Albert Einstein said the high destiny of the individual is to serve rather than rule. You become a person of value – and consequently a “success” – by being willing to serve your mission, your practice and your patients.

You’ll always be alone in your practice, well, because it’s your practice, and it should be that way as it will always be a reflection of your values, your character, your actions and your love (or lack of love) for your patients. You’ll never be lonely, though, when you understand that it’s your inner core of character and conviction that connects you to the “right” people and enables you to create the trusted relationships you crave.

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